A Hot Waitrose Summer

 1. The “Super Chill” BBQ

You’ve invited a few people over. Your friend’s bringing their mate you flirted with at that wedding in April who’s LinkedIn profile you been checking routinely since. In a chill way.

You’re calling it “a chill one,” but your hyper-curated outfit and Wes Anderson inspired table-scape doesn’t quite scream I am the most effortlessly casual person within a three-mile radius.

You’re lightly sweating over a disposable BBQ. Toggling between precision worthy of Angela Hartnett and pretending you’re too chill to care if the halloumi sticks. You’re secretly hoping someone takes a candid on the 35mm of you holding the tongs. (It would look great on your Hinge profile).

Puss’ Waitrose Picks:

• Bone Marrow Burgers – because plain beef is for cowards

• Seeded Brioche Buns – for the illusion of health

• Gochujang Marinade – you pretend it’s homemade

• Watermelon – for aesthetic purposes only

• “The Chicken Wine” – for starting a conversation with your crush x

2. Dinner for the In-Laws You Forgot Were Coming

The text arrives at 3:47pm: “See you tonight! So looking forward to catching up xx”
You stare at your phone like it’s just delivered a Monzo overdraft notification.

You had planned to eat cereal in silence and finally finish that weird Scandi detective show. Now you’re hosting the in-laws. You sprint to Waitrose, radiating anxiety and deodorant residue, praying the deli section has a burrata.

You tell yourself it’s fine. You’re an adult with a Le Creuset from TK Max and a garlic confit phase behind you. But you also panic-buy four types of bread and a pavlova the size of a car battery.

You’re plating like you’re on MasterChef smiling so hard your jaw cramps. Your partner is “just finishing off some emails” which is code for “not helping.”

Puss’ Waitrose Picks:

• Burrata – serves elegance, hides desperation

• Two Rotisserie Chickens – what if one isn’t ENOUGH?

• British Vine Tomatoes – the vine looks nice

• Kalamata & Haldkidiki Olive Bread – because bread is a distraction tactic

• Lemon Tart – his mum will ask if you made it. You will lie.

3. A Midweek Romance Meal

You both claim you’re too tired to cook, but refuse to admit defeat via Deliveroo. You want something quick, comforting, vaguely nutritious and ideally capable of masking the fatigue in your eyes.

Two people standing silently in the kitchen, chopping spring onions in a shared hoodie — modern love. You light the remainder of the candle that smells like “pine and optimism” and put on an old playlist you made together a few years ago.

The entire meal is ready in 14 minutes. You call it “a bowl situation” to feel in control of your life. Halfway through eating, one of you says, “we should do this more often,” and no one knows if they mean cooking or making eye contact.

Puss’ Waitrose Picks:

• Fresh Noodles – because soft chewing is nice

• Soy & Ginger Dressing – tastes like effort, requires none

• Pre-chopped stir fry veg – your back hurts, it’s fine

• Frozen Gyoza – the culinary equivalent of a forehead kiss

• Spotify – because your relationship deserves chill beats